I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
