Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize