I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm drive I can fine osifer
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
