Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
