hotel room ftw
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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