I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
