The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
