Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
