This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
bring money and cleavage
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
