you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
