It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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