checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
