Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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