we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I skipped work to stalk him.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
