Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
