Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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