the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
