Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
