I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
