well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
