Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
