The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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