I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
