I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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