I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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