Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
