If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
