I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
