I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
