im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize