I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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