Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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