I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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