I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
