Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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