I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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