On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you had me at cake vodka
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize