She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
