I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
