I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
