Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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