I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We just shotgunned beers for America
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
