I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
