lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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