Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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