i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize