So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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