Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
