have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
