I wannas sexs uuuuu
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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