tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
