I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
