Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Randomize
