So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
