my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
