"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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