I should be sponsored by Trojan
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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