I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
