She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
