i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
